The Male Midwife - Peter Jackson

Although we had been trying for a couple of months when she said the words "I'm pregnant" I still went into a state of panic, fear and overwhelming happiness. I was going to be a Dad.

Hiding the pregnancy when we went out was hard, I felt like I was the one getting all the morning sickness. Night after night of secretly drinking Polly's white wine as well as my own beer made for some shocking hangovers.

During the scan the little babies seemed to be quite active and happily bouncing around walls of my wife's uterus, completely oblivious to the emotional volcano they had just erupted on their parents...twins!

When the gynaecologist referred to my wife as the mother, "It's up to your wife, as the mother to...." I suddenly felt very young to be a father. I had only just got comfortable with calling her "wife" life was moving very fast.

Average age of fathers in Australia is 32.9 years.

The world's oldest recorded father is purported to be Australian mine worker, Les Colley, who was 92 years 10 months when he fathered a son, Oswald, in 1992. "I never thought she would get pregnant so easy, but she bloody well did," he told newspapers at the time, referring to his Fijian wife whom he'd met through a dating agency a year earlier.

The average number of disposable nappies that a child will wear up to the age of 2 1/2 years is 7,350

Stuart C;  New Dad  - Top Tips 

  • Say "yes" to everything
  • Get your finances in order
  • Forget what you read in books and go with what you think is right

Tim C; New Dad - Top Tips

  • Have your nights out whilst you still can
  • Avoid changing the really full ones
  • Get finances organised
  • Enjoy every minute, it's a cliche but it does go fast

Jon R; New Dad - Top Tips

  • Do whatever your partner wants
  • Don't expect everything to go as planned

Matthew H; New Dad - Top Tips

The most important thing that I learnt is that it is all my fault. Everything that she is going through is my fault. It doesn't matter if it's my fault or not, it's easier and makes her feel better if I take the blame. No matter what I get into trouble for I just think it's nothing compared to what she's going through. And if nothing I do makes it better then going to a baby shop and letting her buy something always seams to make things better.

 Mike P; New Dad - Top Tips

  • Don't worry - enjoy
  • It just keeps getting better
  • Take the time to talk to others and read up
  • Don't buy too much

Al G; New Dad - Top Tips

  • Give your partner the benifit of the doubt

Matt O; New Dad - Top Tip

Be loving and present, don't blink cos you'll miss it.

Cameron; New Dad - Top Tip

Try and do all you can to give her a rest when you can. If you get tired after an hour with the baby imagine what it is like after 23.

 Matt P; New Dad - Top Tip

Insist on two weeks paternity leave (I regret having only 1 week after a long and ardous labour it didn't give me long with my son).

 Paul K; New Dad - Top Tip

Enjoy every stage, even when the child is crying - just enjoy! Life is to short to skip any part. Friends are saying how theywhere to busy working and now where the child is >10 and above they are getting to be individuals and don't want hugs and are too busy with their friend (which of course is fantastic) though as parents missed out on a lot of the growing up.

 Marcus C; New Dad - Top Tip

Follow your instincts

Jason P; New Dad - Top Tips

There are a few:-

  • Routine is good
  • Never wake a sleeping baby
  • Just when you think you have sussed it, it changes
  • Teething  - is difficult!

Carl P, New Dad - Top Tip

Nothing can prepare you for labour.

James T; New Dad - Top Tip

Babies just cry, you can be doing everything right and nothing wrong but they will still cry. Its not your fault babies cry.

Mike S; New Dad - Top Tip

Be ready for a big surprise. Talk to friends who have been through it recently.

Andrew K; New Dad - Top Tip

Be understanding and enjoy every moment.

Jeff P; New Dad - Top Tip

Relax and avoid commerical advertising you many not need many of the things on the market. Keep it simple.

Richard B; New Dad - Top Tip

At 30 weeks pack your bags because you never know when it might happen. Learn as much as you can, go to all the classes, open your eyes to  everything that potentially could happen. Spend time with your baby alone.


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Mentioning to friends that I was interviewing a male midwife and everyone was surprised, the consensus seamed to be that it was perfectly acceptable for a man to be Gyneacologists but not a Midwife. The reasoning being that “men can’t understand the pain of birth”. Peter didn’t set out to become a Midwife, it happened quite by accident and luckily for many pregnant couples out there that it did. He’s also trained in psychiatric care which coupled with his knowledge of birth enabled him to gain an in-depth understanding of the physical and mental challenges of birth.

Peter is passionate about empowering women to feel confidence in their body’s natural ability to deliver their baby. He believes that women are undermined by an over confident medical model.” Pain relief options are often explained before the how your body does it, implanting doubt and fear in women’s minds”.

 

The first ten births Peter witnessed amazed him, “almost all of them had to have medical intervention, either forceps or vacuum it seamed like Mother Nature had produced a faulty product”, he recounted and went onto say, “Birth is all about teamwork. Since the 1970’s women have understood the importance of support from their partners whilst giving birth. Whilst most men worry  “What can I do and say?” they underestimate the massive benefits of them simply being there in the room.”

 

The big question for all new mothers-to-be; “Is there such a thing as a pain free birth? Peter says “yes”, but quickly clarifies his answer. “There will be strong sensations; a lady who attended one of my courses said when she got the sensations she thought of it as pressure rather than pain and this helped her to go on and have a pain free birth, mentally she found it helped her to focus on “pressure instead of pain”.

 

Peter is not a Hippy he truly believes in Dr Herbert Bensons theory of “the three legged stool” an approach, which recommends equal participation from three areas, pharmaceuticals, medical procedure and self-care / knowing how to care of yourself.

 

If there was just one thing Peter would say to all Dads-to-be out there about labour and birth – Just be there, your physical presence in the room alone will help.

 

As a mother of two after the interview I definitely wished I had attended one of Peters Calm Birthing courses. Do I believe in pain free birth? For some women, yes; but for all the rest of us theirs thankfully medicine to help us along.

 

Find out more about Peters classes and visit http://www.calmbirth.com.au/

 

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